Club YAOI of Hetalia: Helping the BFT, Spamano
by Anaca
Summary: Hey, and welcome to the Young Achiever's Otaku Investigator club, in which captains Elizabeta and Kiku are cupids for yaoi couples! They are helping a case they call: Plan "Spamano". "US/UK" and "Ger/Ita" can be read first, in that order. Gakuen AU.
1. Chapter 1

Yay~! I have spring break! It's that time where your brain shuts off and you laze about and sleep on the roof, like me! (Does anyone else?) Doing that fun stuff, there's absolutely no worries!

Except…I'm writing Spamano. But I'm soooooo lazy~! So, what I'm trying to say is, due to my "Yay! It's vacation!" mode, chapters will be slower than ever! Ahaha! (Yeah…you must be bored. Go on, read! –shooing motions-)

**So, this time we're aiming to torture – I mean, pair up Antonio with Lovino! **I assure you, this is staying a 'T'…it's just that I wanted to try portraying Antonio as something other than a completely happy-go-lucky guy…because his canon character isn't fun at all. I like having him secretly dark better, thank you very much. SecretlyDark!Spain is my guilty pleasure, so that is who he is in this fic. I've always wanted to write him that way, so please excuse my inexperience!

**Established pairings: **US/UK, PolLiet, and GerIta.

Spamano: Chapter One

Kiku sighed in accomplishment, gently swirling his tea. Ludwig and Feliciano were hard to pair up, but it was worth it in the end. The Jap looked over to the two.

"Say 'Aaah', Ludwig!" Feliciano said, holding out a fork bundled in pasta.

"Um…'Aaah'," Ludwig awkwardly opened his mouth and choked as the Italian jabbed it in his mouth. "Guh!"

"Ve! I'm sorry, Ludwig! I was too happy and used too much energy!" Feliciano scrambled for napkins worriedly. Kiku's help would have been of no use if Ludwig was dead.

After hacking up an alarming amount of noodles, the German said, "No, no, I'm alright, Feliciano."

"You should call me Feli now, because we're boyfriends now, ve~!"

"B-Boyfriends!?" Ludwig's face heated up and Kiku had to turn his head politely to snicker at the German's dumbfounded face.

While the Jap was looking in that direction, he noticed Antonio getting shoved out of Buono Tomato's kitchen by Lovino.

"Bastard! Just because I'm cooking doesn't mean that you can help! Go play with that albino and pervert!"

"But I want to help, Lovi~"

"You're going to do something stupid again…but fine. You won't stop bothering me if I don't say yes," Lovino sighed, turned on his heel, and went back into the kitchen, Antonio following behind happily.

Kiku raised his eyebrow at Elizabeta, but she was roaring with laughter as Alfred lifted Arthur in the air with a single hand, the Hungarian completely ignorant of the Jap.

"Aha! See, this hero is very strong!" Alfred said.

"Put me down, git! I could fall any second!"

Kiku walked to Elizabeta and touched her shoulder.

"Elizabeta-chan."

"Yes?" the Hungarian answered, wiping tears of amusement from her eyes.

"I am going to investigate what kind of relationship Lovino-san and Antonio-san have." Kiku took only a few steps before a hand grabbed his arm.

"You don't need to do that; I'll tell you what's up with them," Elizabeta motioned for Kiku to sit down, and so he sat.

"Well, if you're going to do this as our next case, then I'll give you what I think myself, and a warning.

"Almost everyone who has met Antonio at least once knows that his childhood crush is Lovino. That guy tells everyone that he loves Lovi by his actions. Hugging, following, possessive-ness…there was this one time a girl tried to hook up with Lovi and Antonio scared her off, but I think no one knows the whole details except for Antonio and the girl herself. I know for certain that Lovi doesn't know a thing about it at all. I heard a rumor that Antonio used an axe," Elizabeta's voice lowered to a whisper at the last part.

Kiku's eyes widened in surprise. "Antonio-san!? Use an axe?" He tried to imagine the happy-go-lucky Spaniard wielding an axe, but nothing came to mind.

"Yeah, I'm not sure myself. But there were a lot of hatch marks in the girl's locker room, right after the girl transferred schools" the Hungarian shrugged. "So what I'm saying is, if these two are going to be our next case, don't try and get them together by jealously."

"I'll be sure to remember that," Kiku said, eyeing the kitchen doors.

"Yeah, so there's no way in using jealousy in this one, unless you want to die. Both Antonio and Lovino are very powerful. Antonio…you know already, and Lovi has a few close coworker friends here that can summon our local mafia with ease, believe it or not. On Lovino's side, I have no idea what to think of him and his feelings. Based on my training with you, I'd infer that Lovino loves Antonio back but the love that Antonio shows the Italian, he interprets as simply…friendly, caring affection. That's why he still puts up with Antonio," Elizabeta shrugged. "That's all I can think of right now."

"…" Kiku stared intently at the Hungarian.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that? Is there something down my shirt?" Elizabeta quickly looked down.

"…No. It's just that you have progressed at lot since I first met you, Elizabeta-chan. I'm impressed," Kiku leaned back in his chair, folding his arms and crossing his legs.

"Really? Thank you!" The Hungarian grinned.

"Yes…and now I am going to take a look at their interactions myself," Kiku rose from his chair and silently slipped through the kitchen's double doors, hiding behind a stack of pots and pans near the two.

* * *

"…so can you call all the other club members here?" Lovino finished asking, stirring a large pot of bubbling sauce.

"Sure!" Antonio said, staring at the Italian's face. Before it was stern and unsmiling, but at the stove Lovino looked content. The Spaniard sighed. _If only Lovi was as cute as this all the time…_

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?" A hand impatiently waved in front of Antonio's eyes and he started.

Lovino sighed, turning off the stove and setting down the spatula. "I can't believe you! C'mon, go call the club members here! Well, except for Feliciano and that potato bastard. Lars said that they could stay there and not work today, for…becoming lovers. Ugh," he shivered.

"Okay!" The Spaniard dashed out the room, a white apron being tied on as he ran.

Lovino sighed, sliding a hand down his face. "What should I do…argh, this is so frustrating. Look at what that tomato _bastardo_ has done to me," he picked up a wooden spoon and tested the sauce. The Italian's face wrinkled into one of distaste. "Too tangy," he muttered.

He walked to a countertop and jumped on it. Standing up, the Italian opened a high-up cabinet and searched through, grumbling.

"Stupid manager, buying a dingy old restaurant whose cabinets are high up," Lovino noticed the spice he wanted sitting up at the very top and stood on his tiptoes to reach it, grunting with effort.

Antonio burst through the doors, club members following right behind, and the first thing he saw was Lovino's ass waving at him across the room. The second thing he noticed was the Italian's groans, which sounded so arousing the Spaniard turned around immediately and walked right back out.

"Hey! Antonio, where are you going?" Francis called out, but Antonio kept walking until he stepped outside, catching his breath.

_I…I told myself I would stop thinking about him like that! _Antonio shook his head as if it could dislodge the dirty thoughts that invaded his mind. _Every day…every night…when will this fantasy stop playing with my mind?_

"Hey, 'Tonio?" Gilbert approached Antonio cautiously. "I heard from Francis that you're getting them thoughts again."

Antonio exhaled. "Yes, that's what's happening. I'm having _those_ thoughts again…"

_Lovino was writhing with pleasure as Antonio playfully nipped at his neck and brushed the Italian's growing erection. "A-Ahn!" he moaned, trying to lift himself out of Antonio's lap. "Stop th-this!"_

_Antonio simply smiled against Lovino's neck. "But I know that you want this…"_

Antonio sighed, leaning on a wooden fence. "Dammit…this has been going on since ninth grade!"

Giblet sighed as well and leaned against the fence with him. "I'm sure it'll stop soon."

"That's what you said last year, and the year before that."

"_Mes ami_, you must be in so much pain right now!" Francis appeared, naked had there not been a rose covering his manhood. "Come with me to the forest and we can erase all thoughts of Lovi with my _magnifique_ skills!" He spread his arms as if Antonio would come running to him any second.

The Spaniard only smiled and said, "I'll be fine. I hope that Kiku can somehow help me with this problem. Hey! Speak of the devil! Kiku!" The weary demeanor that had just surrounded Antonio was replaced with his usual cheery personality as easily as changing clothes.

"Antonio-san," Kiku stepped outside, having heard only a few seconds of the conversation. "What were you three talking about?"

"Hmm…" Antonio looked to Francis and Gilbert for ideas, and Francis said, "I think that it is time for you to repay us for our services, Kiku."

"Yes?" Kiku nodded.

"So we'd like it if you helped Antonio first. He's been having some problems with Lovino…"

Before the Frenchman could elaborate, the entrance door slammed open and Arthur said, "We need you inside, people. Lovino is seriously getting angry." The Brit went back inside.

Kiku looked at the Bad Friends Trio and said, "I will meet you in one hour in those rooms used for private dinners…how about room nine?"

"Okay…I'll see you then!" Antonio darted inside, pursued by Francis and Gilbert.

Kiku looked at the fence the Spaniard and German was just leaning on and plucked what seemed to be a stinkbug from it, except there was a single flashing red dot on its wings.

He stuffed the bug in his pocket and walked inside, determined to listen to the trio's conversation at a later time.

* * *

It's still 3/3/10, guys. Maybe I can squeeze in RuCho~ I promise, things will be funnier from here on out!

…We had to do a Spanish project and make a menu. I put the restaurant name as Bueno Tomate's…close to Buono Tomato's, right? Eheh.

I was catching up on manga I missed, and started to explore the world of doujinshis. Guys, if you want one word of advice from me, always keep at least one gallon of brain-bleach with you! –wiggles finger-

Happy April Fool's, FOOLS! I hope your day was better than mine. I was scared, tricked, jumped, groped, and basically harassed by one single person – my sister. –A– Now I understand why some people don't like their older sisters…but other then that, me and her are really close~! –sisterly adoration-

So, did I do good writing SecretlyDark!Spain? Tell me~!!


	2. Chapter 2

You know those awkward family dinners where relatives come over and talk while eating? Yeah, we just had one.

I feel like a piece of livestock. I was showcased by my father because I got straight As and got into a prestigious high school I applied to. It's funny, in a sad, sad way.

Chapter Two

"Is everyone here yet?" Lovino scanned the kitchen while Alfred tested the pasta sauce.

"Lovino, the sauce is a little too tomato-tasing for my liking. Who were you going to give this to?"

"I was going to give it to Antonio…" Lovino muttered, heart sinking when the Spaniard couldn't be seen.

"Who?"

"Myself; who else!?" Lovino snapped back defensively. _I bet if Antonio knows that I like him he'll just laugh at me!_

The kitchen doors burst open and Antonio ran through with the word, "Lovi~" leaping out of his mouth. He stood next to the Italian and after a moment's hesitation, ruffled his hair.

"Ch-Chigi! Get off of my hair!"

Antonio snickered. "Cute, just like a tomato!"

The rest of the people who were outside filed in. Kiku was surprised at the Spaniard's behavior. He doubted Hungary's words about him wielding an axe. It just didn't make sense. What kind of person could be a bumbling idiot and threatening person at the same time?

The Jap decided to watch for now.

"Is everyone here? Okay, so since I'm the one who's worked here longest, Lars told me that I'm now your teacher!" Lovi said to the group.

Unsurprisingly, this statement was met with many complaints.

"Elizabeta, you never told me about working here…could you explain?"

"Yeah, about that…"

"Working, like, totally ruins my nails! I just got these done yesterday!"

"Haha, the hero will always help!"

Lovino's hands curled into fists.

"I'll help cook…I just got a new cookbook last week."

"N-No! The last time I ate your food, Iggy, I threw up for what seemed to be forever!"

"Why you…I made those just for you, you idiot! I can't believe what a senseless person you are sometimes, to not think about the other person's feelings! Read the atmosphere, git!"

The Italian's eye twitched.

"I can do it if I try! Gee –"

"SHUT UP!" Lovino shouted. The people in the kitchen fell silent and he pointed his finger at the door which led to the restaurant. "Good thing we're closed today, really! Or else Lars would've fired you already! We're going to split you into groups of who will cook, who will be the waitresses or waiters, and who will clean."

"Clean? That sounds like a horrible job. I'd totally lose a nail if I had to do that," Feliks said, wrinkling his nose.

"If you're useless you clean. So you better be good at something," Lovino said dismissively, waving a hand in the hair.

"I'm good at…umm…"

"Save it for later. All of you are going to be interviewed for a bit and I'll choose where you'll be put based on your talents. Okay?" Lovi stared at each club member in the eyes, thoroughly angry enough to not flinch even in the gaze of Francis or Antonio.

"Y-Yes…" Everyone muttered. No one wanted to face an angry Italian, even if he was usually a weak coward.

* * *

Alfred walked in the interviewing room and sat opposite Lovino.

"What are you good at?" The Italian glared angrily at Alfred. This guy was a big cause of his headache.

Alfred grinned and said, "I have charm! And I can make hamburgers, so I should be a coo –"

"Waiter."

"Eh? Eeeeeeeh!? Why?"

~x~X~x~

"What can you do?"

"Cook," Arthur said.

"No you can't. Waiter."

"B-But --!!"

~x~X~x~

Antonio closed the door behind him, whistling. He sat down and said, "I can –"

"Cleaning," Lovino said, putting the Spaniard's name under _Cooking_, right under his own name.

"What!?"

* * *

"I have the name of the people's tasks," Lovino said after eight more tiring interviews, brandishing a slip of paper. "I put in Feli and potato bastard as well, 'cause they'll be working next week." He read it out to the group.

"People who are waiters or waitresses will be: Elizabeta, Roderich, Kiku, Alfred, and Arthur."

"I still don't understand why I'm going through with this," Roderich murmured.

"Cookers will be: Me, Antonio, Feliciano, and Francis. And before you say it, tomato bastard, I know I said cleaning, but you, I and Feli are the only ones who can cook what we have on the menu. So don't even think that I did it so you could be with me!"

"…_Sure_," Elizabeta whispered to Kiku, who nodded.

"And cleaners will be: Gilbert, Ludwig, Feliks, and Toris."

"Tch, that guy totally did that to like, spite me," Feliks whispered to Toris.

"Okay? So we're going to train you now!" Lovino said. He grinned, a smile that only murderers used, and cracked his knuckles. Oh, this would be fun.

* * *

"That was so tiring!" Francis sighed, collapsing on a chair. "The things I saw during this 'training'…"

"I didn't think it was so bad," Antonio said, entering Private Dinner Room No. 9 and sitting down next to the Frenchman. "Ah, everyone's here already! And Elizabeta's here too!"

"Yup!" Elizabeta chirped. "Now…" She leaned forward, a gleam in her eye. "Can you tell us what's happening between you and Lovi?"

"Eh…" Antonio looked down, obviously embarrassed. "I've liked Lovi since a long time ago, but when I went into high school…I don't know what happened, but I kept getting these urges to sometimes hold Lovi in my lap and ravish him with my hands, or hold him down and…do _things_ to him… I know that's stupid, because we're both men and he obviously would never like me back, but I'd hope to change that, somehow. I know you got Arthur and Alfred together, and Ludwig and Feli too, so I hoped that you'd help me too."

"I heard from…a source," Kiku said, averting his eyes from Elizabeta, "That you wielded an axe to scare off a girl who tried to 'hook up' with Lovino-san."

"Ah…yes, _that_," Francis said, a dark look passing over his eyes. "You don't mind if Antonio doesn't talk about it, oui?"

"No, I'm fine," Antonio said, looking up. "Well, there was a girl called Shannon who asked Lovino out last year, and before he could say yes – you know he loves beautiful women – I…grabbed her and shoved her in the nearest room, which was the girl's locker room…"

* * *

"_What are you doing?" Shannon demanded, coughing from the impact of being pushed to the ground. She didn't even get an answer from Lovino…_

"_What am I doing? What are _you_ doing?" Antonio asked, brandishing an old axe he found in the History class's room. "What were you doing with my Lovi?"_

"_I was gonna ask him out, stupid! I can't believe – ohmygod that's an axe!"_

"_Shannon~" The axe was swung and thudded into the wooden bench next to Shannon. With a few tugs Antonio pulled it out, making a deep groove in the wood, and swung it again, pounding the dull metal blade deep where the girl's hand used to be a few moments earlier. "What a bad, bad move~"_

_Antonio swung the axe in the air in front of her, each swing making a mesmerizing _whoosh_ing sound and it swung through the air._

"_You're a monster!" Shannon screamed, hoping her voice could be heard through the thick doors that lead to the halls. To her horror no one came, and she dodged attack after attack from the rusty axe._

_She was suddenly stopped by the Spaniard's hand on her chest, and he smiled at her and said, "If you stay away from my Lovi, I won't kill you." This command was so serious and flat-toned; Shannon almost didn't believe it just came from that happy smile._

_She nodded quickly, hair flying furiously._

"_Okay then! Thank you for understanding!" Antonio grinned, threw the axe in a random direction with a disturbing crunch, and held out a hand for Shannon to grab on to. She refused to touch it and got up herself, panting from the exertion and eyeing the Spaniard warily._

"_I'm going to go return this to Mr. McGuire's room, so I hope you won't ever, ever tell about this to anyone else," once again, Antonio's voice grew flat and filled with unspoken threats. She nodded again._

_Antonio stepped forward, nose centimeters away from Shannon's own nose. "If you tell what just happened here to Lovi, I _assure you_ that worse things will happen to you than _this_," he yanked out the axe that was embedded in a metal locker and walked out the room._

_In the History room, Antonio returned the axe to its proper stand and then after a few seconds sank to the ground, knees folding underneath him. "What have I become because of my desires?" He asked himself.

* * *

_

"…and then Shannon transferred to Kentucky after that, I think," Antonio finished.

"Wow," Elizabeta said. "I never thought those rumors were really true."

"They were. I only told Francis and Gilbert the truth, and then you two. I hope you guys aren't scared of me! And please, please don't tell Lovi!" Antonio pleaded, tearing up.

"W-Wait, we aren't going to tell! But…is this what you'd call love? I sense only lust and possessiveness in the story you just told," Kiku said, recounting what the Spaniard just said.

"I've loved Lovi for a really long time. The lust came only in ninth grade, I think. That's when…I started to think bad thoughts about him," Antonio admitted, looking down and twiddling his thumbs. A blush slowly spread across his face.

"Do you mean wet dreams, or something –" Elizabeta was interrupted.

"Okay, this conversation has gone a little bit too far!" Gilbert announced. "Let's think about how to awesomely pair up these two! We keep telling this guy that Lovino's clearly in love with him, but he still doesn't see it."

"Well…" Kiku checked his watch. "Oh no! It's 9:02! We have to go home, or else my mother will think I've been kidnapped. _Again_," he added under his breath. "We will meet on Saturday, yes? Because all of us have to work at that time…oh, Elizabeta-chan, I guess you'll just come along with us."

"Sure!"

"We'll discuss on how to court Lovino-san then, during what breaks we have."

"R-Really!? Thank you, so much, Kiku!" Antonio cried out happily, flinging his arms around the Jap.

"E-Eh!? This is my second time! What are you doing!?"

Then, with no warning there was a knock on the door and Lovino came in.

"Hey, tomato bastard, there was some pasta left from the cooker's training, and I was wondering if you want to eat it with…" The Italian's words faded away as he registered the position of the Spaniard.

"Y-You…!"

"Oh, hi Lovi! What were you saying a second ago?" Antonio said, not releasing Kiku.

"Oh, this oblivious idiot…" Francis muttered, facepalming.

"You bastard! I was about to ask you for dinner and here you are, hugging Kiku! I wish you get really sick so I don't have to see your face, idiot!" Lovino slammed the door closed with a loud bang.

"Wh-Why, Lovi? What's wrong with you?" Antonio called out, finally pulling away from Kiku.

Outside, a shooting star stopped in its tracks and sped towards Buono Tomato's, specifically to Antonio. It had a wish to fulfill.

* * *

Let's just forget about the fact that sharp dangerous weapons aren't allowed in high school, okay?

The day is 3/3/10.

HAHA SHANNON (aka nightwolfed) HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT!?!?!? HA, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BLACKMAIL, GIRL! (I'm sorry…I don't even know what to say for myself. I'll give you a picture, okay?)

Umm…I hope it will ease your mind that Antonio and Lovino will still have their cute moments that they are famous for, okay? I just couldn't stop my fingers from typing the axe scene…-sniff- It's been a long time since I wrote action…

I couldn't do all the interviews, sorry. (I bet no one wanted to see them anyways!) I just wanted to get the point across that Lovino was pretty ruthless when it came to interviews (-.-')

This is something stupid that you can skip (not that you already skipped all the other A/Ns), but…I had a dream…and France was in it!! He explained to me that he was my (pervy and beautiful) light god. And my dark god had a mask like Turkey's. Gawd, what a strange dream.

Love to Maou and SailorXStar, who drew fanart of GerIta! (And I, being my stupidly forgetful self, forgot to shoutout them earlier, in Chapter One.) Thank you! And love and kisses to nightwolfed, who was Shannon in this fic. Poor girl.


	3. Chapter 3

Well…it's back to school again…-sniff- I don't want to go~!!!

Umm…I feel like saying something here. Er…have you heard the preview for Spain's version of MKC? Have you looked at the translation? The translation mentions Feli-chan, but not Lovi QAQ. If Spain doesn't sing about Lovi in the next line of the song, I'm going to kick his ass.

Chapter Three

"Hn? Where's Antonio?" Lovino asked the next day, checking the Spaniard's homeroom.

"He's out sick, I think," a student said, quickly doing his homework that was due next period.

"Out sick?"

"Yeah. It was pretty cold outside, yesterday. Maybe he did something stupid and stood out there for a long time. I wouldn't be surprised, really. That guy is clueless," the student finished his homework, pulled out another paper, and started on that as well.

"…" Lovino turned away. _It can't be a coincidence that I wished for him to be sick last night! Was it my fault, then? I didn't really mean it…Wait; don't tell me he did something as stupid as get sick on purpose!?_

"That idiot…" he muttered darkly.

* * *

With the guilt of somehow making the Spaniard sick weighing heavily on him, the Italian couldn't keep an eye on class or on his brother. Or anything, really.

When school ended Lovino couldn't take it anymore. He ran to Antonio's house, which was conveniently near, and burst through without knocking.

"Ah, it's Lovino, _hola_~! You probably came to visit," Antonio's mother said, stirring a pot of stew. "Antonio is in his bedroom. He's really sick right now. Do you want some stew –"

"No, I'm fine! Thank you though," Lovino ran up the stairs.

As Lovino charged to the Spaniard's room, he dimly wondered why Antonio's mother didn't seem surprised that he had broken through uninvited. Maybe he's done it too many times the woman was used to it. Ah well.

Lovino slammed the door open, yelling, "You are the most idiotic, bastard-like, stupid, and foolish person I have ever…" the words dropped from the Italian's mouth, similar to the way his book bag fell to the floor. "…seen."

Antonio was a poor sight to behold. Lying on his bed, his usually healthy brown skin was a darkish yellow, his breathing ragged and short, and his face a worrying shade of red. The room itself looked clean, as though Antonio's mother had come in and cleaned it while he was sick.

"Antonio!?" Lovino rushed to the Spaniard's side. Close up, Antonio's condition was even more alarming. The Italian swore he could feel the sickness emanating from where he stood, and when he placed his hand on Antonio's forehead he felt the fever a centimeter away. "You're really sick!" The thermometer on Antonio's bedside table read 103 degrees Fahrenheit and 39 degrees Celsius.

"Lovi?"

Lovino winced at Antonio's voice; it was dry and raspy and not at all like the Spaniard's usual flowing tone.

Antonio blearily opened his eyes, which widened when he saw the Italian's face. Antonio lifted his head. "Lovi! I never thought you'd come and visit me! I feel so –" the Spaniard was interrupted by a series of body-racking coughs.

"I-I'll go get some water!" Lovino quickly scrambled up to grab a water bottle from downstairs.

As soon as the door closed Antonio allowed his head to fall back on the pillow. "Aaaaaaah," he said, drawing out the sigh. "This isn't good; and Lovi's being especially nice to me today! What should I do?"

* * *

Lovino walked into Antonio's room again; though this time he was quieter. "Here. Have some soup. Your mom forced it in my hands," he said, setting a bowl of steaming soup on the bedside table next to Antonio's head.

The Spaniard didn't even move.

"H-Hey…" Lovino poked Antonio's cheek with the spoon he brought. He still remained motionless.

_This fever is worse than I thought! What should I do? Well, there's only one way to get him to eat…_ Lovino blushed. He sat down on Antonio's bed and propped his head up.

"C'mon, eat…" He held the spoon filled with soup up to Antonio's lips. "Fuck, Antonio, if you don't open your mouth I'll – I'll do it for you!" Lovino was about to lean down and was about to forcibly open the Spaniard's mouth (by doing_ what?)_ but then Antonio almost immediately opened his mouth and took the spoon in his mouth, taking a huge gulp of soup.

"Hey! Are you awake, bastard?" Lovino was just a little disappointed. Just a little, dammit! It-It wasn't like he was going to do anything to the bastard!

"Lovi's feeding me~?" Antonio croaked drowsily. "So cute. May I have another bite please?"

"A-Ah, sure," Lovino got another spoonful and fed the Spaniard. He suddenly felt unsure of what to do and full of energy. _Why do I feel so excited!?_

"…May I have some churros?" Antonio propped himself up with a hand.

"Okay…" Once again Lovino exited the room.

"Aah…with some…sauce…please…" The Spaniard suddenly felt his arm give away underneath him and his head plopped back to the pillow. "Everything's…spinning…"

Antonio fell unconscious.

* * *

"Here are some churros," Lovino said, carrying a plate and munching on one of these said churros himself. When Antonio didn't respond, he took a look at the sleeping Spaniard and grumbled, "Argh! You're asleep again! Idiot! Fine, I'll just leave."

The Italian set the plate down and walked to the door to pick up his book bag, intending to leave before his brother and Ludwig came (well, more like Feliciano _dragged_ Ludwig to come) to check up on Antonio as well – and he did _not_ want Feliciano to know Lovino came at all, let alone took care of the Spaniard.

But it seemed as though his intention wasn't going to happen, because then there was a rustle behind him and a pair of strong arms came around and wrapped him in a warm embrace.

"Stay," a sleepy voice commanded, and the arms pulled Lovino back onto Antonio's bed.

The Italian found himself squeezed half to death against Antonio's chest, who was tucking Lovino's head under his chin.

"You're too cute Lovi~" He crooned.

"Let go of me! I have to get home!" Lovino struggled against Antonio's grasp, but the Spaniard was too strong. _Was he always this strong…?_

"…No you don't." If possible, the grip around Lovino grew tighter, and then he was pushed against the bed, with Antonio on top, legs on either side of the Italian.

"Yes, I do need to go home! You don't know when I have to go!"

The Spaniard remained silent, regarding the ranting Italian carefully. Lovino finally noticed their situation – specifically, their positions. "And get off of me!"

Still Antonio did not speak, and Lovino stopped shouting, panting from all the exertion of yelling. Both faces were a fiery red, for different reasons – or were they actually the same?

The Italian looked straight at Antonio and realized that the Spaniard's gaze wasn't at all like the one from before – happy and cheerful. This one was heavier, darker, and a bit wanting. The only sound that filled the air was Lovino's panting, which soon petered off into silence.

"Antonio?" Lovino's whisper broke the fragile silence like a flock of birds. Maybe that wasn't a good idea, because the Spaniard's eyes lit up at the mention of his name and he leaned down to gave Lovino a deep, chaste kiss...which then turned into something darker within a few seconds when Lovino froze up and didn't protest.

"Mmmf!" When Lovino finally regained from his shock Antonio had already started to unbutton his shirt with one hand and had pinned the Italian's hands up above his head with his other hand. When the shirt came undone, Antonio broke away for a moment to catch his breath, a thin thread of saliva connecting the two mouths. As soon as he did Lovino said, "What are you –"

The Spaniard took the chance to kiss the Italian again, this time sliding his tongue in and flicking it lightly against Lovino's own tongue.

He got only a few seconds before the Italian turned his head to sever the kiss. Antonio devilishly smiled at Lovino, whose face was a healthy pink. The Italian was panting quietly, and the sight of a tousled Lovino was enough to make Antonio attack his neck instead, reveling in the soft moans that barely reached his ear.

"Lovi~" the Spaniard said. "So you don't want this?" He bit down harder and smirked when Lovino's body arched up. "That's what I thought."

"Dammit – I don't want –" he panted as one of Antonio's hands started to roam down south. "Don't go there!"

"You're lying," Antonio looked at Lovino through half-lidded eyes. "You really do want this, don't you…? Don't you love me?"

"I…" _Was this a confession!?_ Antonio bit his ear delicately. "I really like you, yes…"

The Spaniard beamed. "Then everything's okay!'"

"But what about you –" Antonio kissed Lovino a third time, effectively silencing him. This time Lovino kissed back, more than a bit hesitant. Antonio let go of the Italian's wrists and instead focused on undressing him.

From downstairs the door slammed open and loud voices filled the house. Lovino's eyes widened in shock. _It's Feliciano and the potato bastard! If they see me like this -_

"Get off! I need to go!" Antonio ignored his wishes and kept feeling up Lovino. They dimly heard a voice say, "Ve, so Antonio is sick? We should go stop and give him our get-well wishes!"

However, Lovino still heard it and he grunted, "I said, get off of me!" In a flurry of limbs he kicked Antonio, knocking him backwards into his dresser.

There was a heavy thunk and an, "Oof!" And then Antonio didn't move again.

"H-Hey…Antonio? Oh my God – he's unconscious," Lovino stared in astonishment at the Spaniard until he heard Ludwig's deep voice coming closer, jolting him back to reality.

He grabbed Antonio's limp body and hauled him onto his bed, covering the Spaniard in his covers (which had tomato-print on it; how endearing). The Italian took a step back and surveyed his work. Good. Now it looked as if Antonio was simply sleeping and not knocked out cold.

The Italian quickly grabbed his book bag and looked around for a way to escape without being seen by his brother or Ludwig.

_The window!_ Lovino ran to the window, opening it wide and jumping into the tree that Antonio showed the Italian days ago. As he closed the window from the outside, he took a long look at Antonio.

"I'll say sorry tomorrow," he said. "This mean that we're lovers…even though I didn't get the words from you, it's probably true…right?"

* * *

The next day Lovino practically skipped to Antonio's homeroom, whistling. They were somewhat of lovers now, weren't they? That meant that they could be together! Lovino grinned. Maybe they could continue what has happening yesterday -

"Hey, Antonio. I'm sorry that –"

"Lovi~ Hi! Why didn't you visit me when I was sick?"

Lovino froze midstride.

"…_What?"_

"I was sick yesterday, and Lovi didn't even visit me to yell. I'm so sad," Antonio complained to Gilbert and Francis, wiping a false tear from his eye.

"Wait, wait , wait – _what_. So…you don't remember a _single_ thing that happened yesterday?" Lovino asked, dreading the words that came out of Antonio's mouth.

"I remember waking up in the afternoon with the worst headache ever, but Feli came and made it all better with his cuteness!" the Spaniard beamed. "Feli is just so cute too~"

"No, no! Before that!"

"Ummm…hrmm…oh! I remember now!" Antonio turned fully to Romano, beaming.

"You do?" The Italian asked hopefully.

"Yeah! I remember that before Feli and Ludwig came to visit, I had a dream that a tomato kicked me in the face! Did you read my mind or something, Lovi –"

"You-You…" Lovino was visibly shaking, fists clenched.

"Ah? Lovi, what's wrong? If you want a specific answer, I didn't see you at all yesterday!" Antonio walked up to Lovino and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay? Hey, you're shaking! Maybe it's a recurring case of your sickness! I need to get my guitar!"

"You…YOU JERK!" Lovino punched Antonio in his stomach and ran away, slamming the door as he ran out the class. "Dammit, I don't want to see your face ever again, tomato bastard!"

* * *

The day…umm…it's 3/4/10. At least the story is getting somewhere. Right…? Aw, I'm sorry Lovino. You were dub-conned…well, if this went any further he would have been. My make-out writing skills are really bad. This one was only about eight paragraphs. (I didn't write lemon. I didn't. No. I won't. You people easily forget that I'm 13 years old.)

There was an anon!reviewer named Libra (nice anon name for the subject at hand), who asked me if Jap was an insult from WWII. My reply to her/him: I didn't know that!! But it'd be repetitive to call Kiku "Kiku" all the time. I need to find something else to call him then~ Do you know anything? (Like how Antonio is called "Spaniard", Arthur called "Briton", Lovino called "Italian", etc)

Thanks, love, and happiness shall be sent via Internet to MashednotHashed because she drew an adorable fanart of GerIta. It's on my profile~


	4. Chapter 4

Well, it has been decided – I will use "the Japanese" instead of "the Jap" for Kiku, as suggested by Libra because the latter was a WWII insult (which I didn't know, so put the stones in your hands down!). Hope it fits your tastes!

Chapter Four

"Th-That bastard Antonio," Lovino muttered, tears spilling from his eyes. He furiously wiped them away and then silenced his sniffles as he heard the boy's bathroom door open and voices drift through.

Hurriedly locking the stall door that the Italian was in, Lovino could only fume in silence as the two teens attended to their business.

This time Lovino had a good reason to be angry for once. He had confessed his love to Antonio uncomfortably – with the Spaniard on top of Lovino – and then the bastard had to go and _forget everything that happened while Lovino was there! _Everything!

New tears spilled from the Italian's eyes at the very thought. Lovino wiped them again and jumped as the homeroom bell rang. The two boys didn't leave the restroom, seeming to have the aim of playing hooky, and so Lovino had a choice to make: either leave the bathroom and be seen by the two with his tear-streaked face, or simply stay still and skip class, pride intact.

He chose the latter and sat in the stall, listening to the teens quietly talking, while he tried to figure out what to do with Antonio. He decided it would be best to backtrack what happened yesterday.

The Spaniard had had a very high fever, but he somehow pinned Lovino down and kissed the living daylights out of him, and then made the Italian say _those_ three words. Then while they were undressing, Lovino heard Feliciano and his boyfriend, so then he blindly kicked out…and _struck Antonio in the head!_

The Italian softly gasped. No wonder why Antonio didn't remember anything! He mentally kicked himself. It was once again, his fault. He tried to recount what else happened that day.

Well, Antonio hit his head and so Lovino tucked the Spaniard in and exited via window, promising himself to say sorry the next day, and left. Lovino suddenly remembered something else – Antonio never said that he loved him back!

The Italian's face bloomed into a bright, brilliant red. He had confessed to Antonio while he didn't even know if the Spaniard liked him back!

"Stupid!" He growled to himself, actually kicking himself this time. The movement attracted noise, and one of the teens skipping class called out, "Hey! Is someone there?"

The speaker was none other than Antonio himself. Lovino squeaked in surprise and shut up, taking extra precaution by clapping a hand over his mouth.

"What? You heard someone, 'Tonio?" Francis asked. The Italian rolled his eyes. So the pervert was here too.

"…No, I thought I heard Lovi. Where's Gilbert?"

"Well, he should be here now-"

"Hey!" Lovino heard the restroom door open and the scratchy voice of Gilbert. "I'm sorry I'm late – Elizabeta was watching me with the eye of a hawk."

"It's fine, it's fine. So – do you know why little Lovi ran away when you said you didn't remember him visiting when you were sick?" Lovino gritted his teeth. He never said he would let Francis call him Lovi!

"No…I wonder what's wrong with Lovi?" Antonio questioned of the world, voice sounding horribly depressed.

"Maybe he did visit, but since you were sick you didn't remember?" Gilbert asked.

"I'm sure I would have known if Lovi came to visit!" Antonio argued, disbelief coloring his voice.

"Are you sure? You did have a high fever, you know. You could've done anything, really, and forget about it the next day," Francis interjected.

"But you know how I feel about Lovi! I'm sure I wouldn't forget!" The Spaniard protested, voice growing louder.

"Quiet!" Gilbert hissed. "Or else teachers might notice."

"...Okay," Antonio said. "Let's whisper then."

The group of three lowered their voices to a soft whisper and so even when Lovino pressed his ear against the stall door he couldn't eavesdrop on the conversation any longer.

He gave a little huff and now tried to process this new information, which really didn't add up to the Italian's own assumption.

The Spaniard didn't say that he loved Lovino, but just now he had said he would have known if the Italian came to visit because…he felt something strong towards him? Brown eyes widened in realization as Lovino came to a conclusion.

Did Antonio hate him?

* * *

Somehow the Bad Friends Trio managed to stay in the same restroom for the whole school day, and likewise Lovino managed to stay unnoticed in the bathroom stall, squatting on top of the toilet and keeping his mouth firmly shut.

Though the four were in the same room, Antonio, Gilbert, and Francis kept their voices to a minimum, unknowingly preventing Lovino from listening in.

When the dismissal bell rang and the Bad Friends Trio left together, Lovino stood up and rubbed his sore ass, scowling. He was sitting there for the whole entire day and his whole body felt very numb. His frown dropped as he thought about what he had learned, to be replaced with a look of worry.

So Antonio hated him. That explained very little, like why he was forcibly pinned down and kissed, or why the Spaniard would always hang around the Italian.

_Maybe he's after Grandpa's inheritance_, Lovino mused. His Grandfather was a very influential man, and the money the man earned was to be left to Lovino and Feliciano. _Everyone just wants my money, not me._ The Italian stopped his tears before they could spill out of his eyes.

Lovino walked out the restroom and quickly slung on his book bag, heading straight for the exit in case anyone tried to stop him.

He ran for his house, glad that he wouldn't have to see Antonio's face for two days, if he securely locked the windows and doors.

But then Lovino realized that tomorrow was Saturday – which meant that he had to work at Buono Tomato's with Antonio anyways.

He gave a little moan of frustration and wondered what to do. Well, Kiku would be there, wouldn't he? The Japanese seemed calm and collected; maybe he would know what to do about this.

Because even if Antonio hated Lovino and wanted only his money, the Italian somehow still loved the Spaniard.

* * *

Aw, poor Lovi. I hope he finds out the truth.

And this shall be the last chapter of this month, because I'm going to Florida (pffft) on the 28th due to a singing contest, and coming back on the 2nd of May. And since that's happening teachers are piling us with homework (the bane of our existence), and I think if I write instead of homework, my bad grades will degenerate into a worse grade XD. So, I'll be taking a break and all that shazz. See you all soon~

The day is~: 3/4/10.


	5. Chapter 5

…

Do I have _any_ words to explain why I didn't update for the past…long time? Nope. So…eheh? /rightfully bricked. I'd be glad if anyone was still reading this and sticking with my stupidity, really! Thanks to the reviewer who kicked me in the ass to get me jump-started again! But even then, it's a short chapter OAQ".

Anyways, my friend is alive and is consulting a counselor, to those who worried. Thank you for your kindness~

Chapter Five

Antonio burst through the doors of Buono Tomato's with a spring in his step.

"Antonio, reporting for duty~" he said, looking around for any telltale sign of an irritated Italian (such as curses, loud noises, and bickering – to name a few). When there were none, he gave a sigh, walked into the employee's room, and grabbed an apron. The Spaniard had hoped to ask just why Lovino ran out of his class so suddenly, but maybe Gilbert and Francis whisked Lovi off…?

Antonio looked at the clock. He was twenty minutes late – so probably not. Those two usually came an hour late.

Tying the apron on expertly – he cooked a lot at home, though he kind of wished the apron was more frilly and lacy like his – Antonio heard some kind of tune coming from the kitchen, along with off-tune humming.

"Ooh, this is good music~!" The Spaniard exclaimed, feeling an urge to dance.

Walking to the kitchen, he pushed the door open an inch and looked through, chuckling at the sight he was met with.

Inside, Lovino was humming to an upbeat salsa song as he cooked pasta for customers, swinging his hips to the beat of the song – and Antonio, staring behind the employee's door, was awarded with a lovely view of the Italian enjoying himself as he swung his hips side to side.

Grinning broadly, he stood up and barreled through the doors, catching Lovino by surprise.

"Wha-" The Italian's question was cut short when Antonio swept him literally off his feet in a bear hug, placing him back down a second later.

"I didn't know you liked this kind of music, Lovi! This is my favorite kind!" Antonio grabbed Lovino's hands and started to swing them to the beat, laughing when the other's face grew a cute tomato-red.

"Don't tease me!" He snapped hotly, wrenching his hands out of the Spaniard's hands. "It was the – the only thing on the radio!" He resumed his cooking, no longer half-dancing and thoroughly embarrassed.

"Aw, Lovi, don't be that way~" Antonio was suddenly reminded of the reason why he came earlier than his friends, and his next playful teasing comment died in his throat.

"So, Lovi, what happened yesterday? Were you hurt or something?" He asked, and almost didn't catch the way the Italian's shoulders stiffened as he stirred something in a pot. Almost…but Antonio has been noticing _everything_ about his little Lovi, and it's been driving him crazier than usual.

"It was nothing," Lovino said, voice clearly implying that he didn't want to talk about it.

"You can tell me," Antonio said softly as he put his arm on the other's shoulders in what he hoped was a consoling way (trying to ignore the urge to pull his curl which made the Italian react in such an interesting, lovely, distracting way-). "After all, I'm your friend, right?" _At least, for now,_ he mused. He continued.

"I was worried, you know – "

"No you weren't." the mumble seemed to fly straight out of Lovino's mouth, for then he blinked in surprise at his own outburst.

"How can I not be worried?" Antonio asked, nonplussed.

"Nothing – i-it's nothing, I keep telling you. Can't you keep your nose out of other people's business?" the Italian's voice regained its usual strength as he headbutted Antonio's stomach.

"Ooof! Well, it's nice to see Lovino back to his usual self again," the Spaniard laughed, watching as the Italian turned away, fuming.

_No,_ he thought, _there's still something wrong._

Antonio opened his mouth to speak.

Closed it.

Opened it again.

"Hey Lovi…"

"What?" Lovino was heaping pasta noodles onto a plate.

"…Nevermind~ I'm going to call Francis and Gilbert and see where they are, okay?"

"Sure," the other said, waving his ladle in response.

* * *

Antonio walked into the employee's room and jumped when he saw Kiku crouching at the door, notebook and pen in hand.

"Eh, Kiku…what are you doing?"

"Did you do something bad to Lovino-san?" the Asian asked, pointedly ignoring the Spaniard's question.

"E-Eh, I don't really know…supposedly it was while I was sick, but I don't recall Lovi ever visiting. How long have you been here, anyways?"

Kiku decided not to tell him that he came ten minutes early and had witnessed everything since Antonio stepped into Buono Tomato's. Instead he said, "Today was a little hectic, so I just arrived a few minutes ago." He tucked the notebook into a pocket.

"Wow~ I'm earlier than Kiku? Cool!" Antonio exclaimed.

"Hey, so I'm only a few minutes after Kiku? I'm so awesome!" Another voice crowed. Gilbert burst into the room. "Gilbert, reporting for duty!"

Francis stepped in and said, "Oh, so everyone's here, then? Good~"

"Haha, you're going to have to clean up today, Gil, so you should've come later!" the Spaniard said as he became the victim of Gilbert's crushing headlock.

"Well, it's my first day today, so I'm doing that on Wednesday," the German said, releasing Antonio from his grip.

"Guys!" Everyone whipped their heads to the kitchen door, where Lovino stood, striking an imposing figure with a knife in hand. "Everyone's here, then? What are you guys doing here? Let's get started! Stop lollygagging!"

* * *

The day: 3/5/10

A/N – I got addicted to dating sims TTwTT

I'm going to the Otakon for the first time! Anyone have lovely tips for a noob?

AND HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD THE HETALIA DUB!


	6. Awww, really?

Title: AWW, REALLY!

Dear dearest lovely readers who no doubt are doing to kill me dead for this message...

Okay, so...I haven't been able to go on ffnet for a while, ever since my last chapter was uploaded (SOB). So, imagine you sent me an amazingly long PM/review filled with love and care. So then, I'd receive it in my inbox and I'd able to read it. But I can't reply on ffnet. Because ffnet is blocked on both school computers and my house (SINCE THE END OF JULY, GEEZE), and there is absolutely NO WAY I'm using my friend's laptop to type up a chapter, or use it at all to write a reply. It shows ignorance of our friendship, and that would suck. Right now, a friend of mine is copying and pasting this message (using my account, SOB SOB SOB) into the little replying thingy. Then she shall send it, (hopefully not altering anything) and you shall recieve this message via her computer that isn't blocked on ffnet. But I don't wanna impose, so I won't have her copy+paste more than what she has to (SORRY~!). That's just too much. So sadly, no replies anymore, and no more chapters either, until I get my father to do something and unblock it. And I thought that the password would be really easy, since it's my father who blocked the site. HOWEVER, it's one of those word-password ones, so I have NO idea what the password for unblocking sites are, and he somhow did it for ALL sites (Mozilla, Chrome, Internet Exp, Safari, etc)  
I'm really sorry, darlins'~ But my dad is a horrible meanie (who thankfully didn't find out about my yaoi-lovingness and just blocked it out thinking I might stumble onto the 'bad stuff,' WHICH I ALREADY DID).

THEREFORE, FINAL LINE: NO REPLIES/CHAPTERS UNTIL I FIRGURE OUT WHAT TO DO. If you DO decide to send a random review to this, I can read it, but not reply. So...if it is nice, thank you. If it's filled with hate spamattacks, it's completely understandable that you would do that, and I do not blame you. But it wounds my faintly beating heart! /clutches chest dramatically/

On a lighter note, I'm in high school! The freshmen don't shut up! It's so strange~ -  
Uh, hello there. I'm Shannon. You know, the one who was kind enough to post this for Anaca? Yeah, you probably don't know me. (I'm nightwolfed on here, by the way.)  
Anyway, stop wasting your life reading Hetalia. Go read Harry Potter slash instead. Preferably of the Harry/Draco variety. That is, once you stop crying on your keyboard about Anaca not updating. Yes, I know you are, don't deny it. But do stop. It's unsightly and you're getting tears all over the keys. Disgusting. 


End file.
